


standing on my own

by spaceMaverick



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Father Figures, Gen, Middle School, Nonbinary Character, Running Away, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, middle school is terrible oh god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 19:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20917736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceMaverick/pseuds/spaceMaverick
Summary: It was 2012, and Hollis Allen wanted nothing more than to disappear in the Monongahela National Forest.





	standing on my own

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [teenagers scare the living shit out of me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853617) by [gayprophets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayprophets/pseuds/gayprophets). 

> hollis is 12 in this! which makes duck about 36.  
all of a sudden im obsessed with hollis. i dont know what happened.  
my trend of sad taz continues. i am sorry. this one is kind of nice though... its comforting.  
title is from on my own by three days grace because they were my favorite band when i was 12.
> 
> this fic was inspired by teenagers scare the living shit out of me but it strayed a lot.

The trees swayed above Hollis as they tramped through the unkempt forest, far from any trails they were supposed to stay on. Music blared into their ears, the already low-quality audio made even more muffled and tinny by their headphones. They tripped over a root and landed hard on their shoulder, scaring a bird out of its tree with a loud cry of the worst word they could think of.

It was 2012, and Hollis Allen wanted nothing more than to disappear in the Monongahela National Forest.

They sat up and pulled up their sleeves to examine their hands. None of the scrapes were bad, so they stood back up and kept walking. They skipped a song on the album and kept walking. They watched the sky get darker and kept walking. They wouldn’t admit they were lost and kept walking. They could barely see in front of them and they stopped walking.

Sitting on the ground, Hollis looked up at the pockets of sky through the branches. The tiny stars dotted across the endless black of space made them wonder what it would be like to live among them. From what they could remember, space was cold. Colder than anything on Earth. Maybe it would be better if Hollis was so cold they were numb. Maybe then, their chest would stop aching with sadness. Maybe they’d stop feeling this way.

Heavy tiredness started to set in, and Hollis curled up in the dirt. They turned up their music and tried to ignore their shivering until sleep overtook them.

“Hey,” a gruff voice woke Hollis up. “Hey, are you alright?” They looked up to see a man with shaggy black hair resting his hand on their shoulder. They scrambled away from him, backing up against a tree. The man held his hands up and took a small step back. His eyes scanned over them. “Are you Hollis Allen?” He asked. He was wearing a beige uniform and a brown hat, with a gold badge pinned on the chest of his shirt. A ranger.

Hollis nodded, unsure of how to lie their way out of this.

“Oh, thank God,” the man sighed. He kneeled down. “My name is Duck Newton, would you mind coming back to the station with me?” His blue eyes were kind; worried. Hollis decided to remain silent. Duck waited for a moment before his face fell. He huffed another sigh and sat down, crossing his legs. “Okay, what’s up? How’d you get all the way out here?” He didn’t sound accusatory. He still looked worried.

“I wanna be alone,” they said.

“Now why’s that?”

“‘Cuz it’s better this way.”

Duck furrowed his eyebrows. “Hey,” he breathed. “Are you alright?” Hollis finally shook their head. They weren’t okay. _Nothing_ was okay. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” They didn’t. They didn’t understand why everything was so terrible. “I think I’m broken.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Duck said. “I know stuff is kind of confusing at your age, but you’re going to be okay.”

“No I’m not!” Hollis burst. They didn’t know Duck, and Duck didn’t know them. It was impossible for him to say that. “I’m not going to be okay! Everything is scary and it hurts all the time and I just wanna _die!”_

Duck’s eyes went wide. Hollis’ eyes went wide. Duck softened and put a hand on their knee. They let it happen. “How long have you felt like this?” He asked.

“I dunno.” Hollis shifted to hug their knees to their chest, shrugging Duck’s hand off of them. They retreated into their hoodie, fidgeting with their MP3 player in its pocket. They watched Duck’s face change in what was probably internal panic before he spoke again.

“Look, kid. I _promise_ you. You’re gonna be alright. I’ve got experience with this, Hollis. I’ve been suicidal. And I’m alive. Will you please come with me so we can get you home? You’re gonna get sick out here.”

Hollis stared at the forest ranger in front of them. This man who looked like he was born wearing the uniform he was wearing. They saw the pain in his eyes and pushed themself up to their feet. Duck held his hand out, and they took it, following him to one of the main pathways through the woods.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally supposed to be trans bonding but it turned into suicidal hollis. whoops  
let me know if anything else should be tagged!


End file.
